Every man and every woman has stress. It's how you deal with it that
counts. You can help each other handle stress by being available to go
for a walk together or by having a laugh together to break the tension.
Here's a collection of The Top 10 Practical Ways to get you started without causing more strain and hassle.
1. Figure out where the stress is coming from.
Oftentimes, when we’re stressed, it seems like a big mess with
stressors appearing from every angle. We start to feel like we’re
playing a game of dodge ball, ducking and darting so we don’t get
smacked by a barrage of balls. We take a defensive position, and not a
good one at that.
Instead of
feeling like you’re flailing day to day, identify what you’re actually
stressed about. Is it a specific project at work, an upcoming exam, a
dispute with your boss, a heap of laundry, a fight with your family?
By getting specific and pinpointing the stressors in your life, you’re one step closer to getting organized and taking action.
2. Consider what you can control—and work on that.
While you can’t control what your boss does, what your in-laws say or
the sour state of the economy, you can control how you react, how you
accomplish work, how you spend your time and what you spend your money
on.
The worst thing for stress is trying to take control over
uncontrollable things. Because when you inevitably fail — since it’s
beyond your control — you only get more stressed out and feel helpless.
So after you’ve thought through what’s stressing you out, identify the
stressors that you can control, and determine the best ways to take
action.
Take the example of a work project. If the scope is stressing you
out, talk it over with your supervisor or break the project down into
step-wise tasks and deadlines.
Stress can be paralyzing. Doing what’s within your power moves you forward and is empowering and invigorating.
3. Do what you love.
It’s so much easier to manage pockets of stress when the rest of your
life is filled with activities you love. Even if your job is stress
central, you can find one hobby or two that enrich your world. What are
you passionate about? If you’re not sure, experiment with a variety of
activities to find something that’s especially meaningful and
fulfilling.
4. Manage your time well.
One of the biggest stressors for many people is lack of time. Their
to-do list expands, while time flies. How often have you wished for more
hours in the day or heard others lament their lack of time? But you’ve
got more time than you think, as Laura Vanderkam writes in her aptly
titled book, 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think.
We all have the same 168 hours, and yet there are plenty of people
who are dedicated parents and full-time employees and who get at least
seven hours of sleep a night and lead fulfilling lives.
5. Create a toolbox of techniques.
One stress-shrinking strategy won’t work for all your problems. For
instance, while deep breathing is helpful when you’re stuck in traffic
or hanging at home, it might not rescue you during a business meeting.
Because stress is complex, “What we need is a toolbox that’s full of
techniques that we can fit and choose for the stressor in the present
moment,” said Richard Blonna, Ed.D, a nationally certified coach and
counselor and author of Stress Less, Live More: How Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Can Help You Live a Busy Yet Balanced Life.
6. Pick off the negotiables from your plate.
Review your daily and weekly activities to see what you can pick off
your plate. As Vanderkam asks in her book: “Do your kids really love
their extracurricular activities, or are they doing them to please you?
Are you volunteering for too many causes, and so stealing time from the
ones where you could make the most impact? Does your whole department
really need to meet once per week or have that daily conference call?”
Blonna suggested asking these questions: “Do [my activities] mesh
with my goals and values? Am I doing things that give my life meaning?
Am I doing the right amount of things?”
Reducing your stack of negotiable tasks can greatly reduce your stress.
7. Are you leaving yourself extra vulnerable to stress?
Whether you perceive something as a stressor depends in part on your
current state of mind and body. That is, as Blonna said, ““Each
transaction we’re involved in takes place in a very specific context
that’s affected by our health, sleep, psychoactive substances, whether we’ve had breakfast [that day] and [whether we’re] physically fit.”
So if you’re not getting sufficient sleep or physical activity during
the week, you may be leaving yourself extra susceptible to stress. When
you’re sleep-deprived, sedentary and filled to the brim with coffee,
even the smallest stressors can have a huge impact.
8. Preserve good boundaries.
If you’re a people-pleaser like me, saying no feels like you’re
abandoning someone, have become a terrible person or are throwing all
civility out the window. But of course that couldn’t be further from the
truth. Plus, those few seconds of discomfort are well worth avoiding
the stress of taking on an extra activity or doing something that
doesn’t contribute value to your life.
One thing I’ve noticed about productive, happy people is that they’re
very protective of their time and having their boundaries crossed. But
not to worry: Building boundaries is a skill you can learn.
9. Realize there’s a difference between worrying and caring.
Sometimes, our mindset can boost stress, so a small issue mushrooms
into a pile of problems. We continue worrying, somehow thinking that
this is a productive — or at least inevitable — response to stress. But
we mistake worry for action.
Clinical psychologist Chad LeJeune, Ph.D, talks about the idea of worrying versus caring in his book, The Worry Trap: How to Free Yourself from Worry & Anxiety Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy.
“Worrying is an attempt to exert control over the future by thinking
about it,” whereas caring is taking action. “When we are caring for
someone or something, we do the things that support or advance the best
interests of the person or thing that we care about.”
LeJeune uses the simple example of houseplants. He writes: “If you
are away from home for a week, you can worry about your houseplants
every single day and still return home to find them brown and wilted.
Worrying is not watering.”
Similarly, fretting about your finances does nothing but get you
worked up (and likely prevent you from taking action). Caring about your
finances, however, means creating a budget, paying bills on time, using
coupons and reducing how often you dine out.
Just this small shift in mindset from worrying to caring can help you
adjust your reaction to stress. To see this distinction between
worrying and caring, LeJeune includes an activity where readers list
responses for each one. For example:
Worrying about your health involves…
Caring about your health involves…
Worrying about your career involves…
Caring about your career involves…
10. Embrace mistakes—or at least don’t drown in perfectionism.
Another mindset that can exacerbate stress is perfectionism. Trying
to be mistake-free and essentially spending your days walking on
eggshells is exhausting and anxiety-provoking. Talk about putting
pressure on yourself! And as we all know but tend to forget:
Perfectionism is impossible and not human, anyway.
Proven Strategies to Naturally Reduce Stress
Proven Strategies to Naturally Reduce Stress
